The Insidious Quiet of Everyday Racism

and How Violations of the Social Order Will Not Go Unpunished

Most people in the literary world are aware of the recent scandal in which an author has admitted to review bombing fellow debut authors’ books. These types of scandals come around inevitably but they are always unfortunate, upsetting, and sometimes much more. I usually want to think the best of people’s intentions and after a youth where I made excuses for people around me, I’ve done a lot of waking up and growing in my adulthood. As someone who can at times pass for white, I could pretend it wasn’t happening or convince myself it was something else. Of course, this wasn’t always the case as there have been plenty of situations where my Asian heritage was identified or “discovered.” The truth is I’ve always known on some level that some interactions were tinged with the emotions and sentiments from others that I didn’t understand. Further, those emotions and sentiments often bloomed into things I also didn’t understand.

There’s a type of racism we don’t really talk about which is reflected in the fact that many (possibly all, I didn’t take thorough inventory) of these authors who were targeted are BIPOC. The internal origin of the offending author’s actions is a demonstration of how racism can be quiet and understated. We refer to them as microaggressions, yet I’m not sure if the word fully expresses what I’m talking about. Quiet racism is as much in the silence as its in the words. It can be in what people don’t say but all in how they view the world. These situations can be especially painful because they often come from people we think we know. From colleagues where it seemed we had a positive professional relationship with, from acquaintances we see around town, and even from people we consider friends. I’ve found these situations to be some of the most painful.

I never seem to expect it, despite knowing better, and it always makes me look back and wonder at how it must have boiled under the surface in the form of fear, jealousy, and imagined competitions. What’s harder to explain is how it functions in subtlety. How I can pick it out the signs, sometimes in real time, sometimes in hindsight but not easy to explain. The gray area, the thread of privilege that runs through the tapestry of white supremacy is harder than blatant racism to point to as evidence. However, this racism is deeply rooted. It’s shoots seem healthy enough but there’s a waft, a hint, an undercurrent of more. It’s in the way something is said, or not said, in an attitude, a look, and/or taking up space that reveals a mindset and sense of expectation. It’s a lack of respect for or anger at the establishment of boundaries by BIPOC.

Here’s what I mean. Much of these examples are derived from what I’ve observed and experienced…

The “friend” who never apologies when they’ve inconvenienced you and seem to think nothing about inconveniencing you. A fellow parent who sees your child as a sort of living toy to keep their child entertained. An acquaintance who takes over the airspace in a conversation among BIPOC folks. Someone who feels they have the right to dictate or comment on your racial and cultural identity. A white person who feels they can crack jokes based on racial stereotypes because “you know I don’t really mean it.” Someone who tells you they don’t see race so they never noticed you were BIPOC. Holding the responsibility to point out racism to others and to educate. Being tasked with duties under the assumption you’ll fall in line. Resentment and even backlash when you establish boundaries. A sense of ownership over foods or dress of a culture that is not their own. Descriptions of people’s race when the information being communicated doesn’t have anything to do with race… ex. A family having a picnic vs. Those Asian people having a picnic. Jealousy and discomfort when a BIPOC experiences success.

On the surface some of this can be excused and/or explained. In fact, things like the above can happen interpersonally without the element of race at all. These examples can be merely people problems. But that’s the thing about racism, it’s a people problem derived from a perspective that enforces a specific view—white is central, foremost, the default and owns all spaces. Upsetting the hierarchy is a violation. Often these are people who don’t even fully understand their own reactions. They tell themselves it’s something else that’s offended them or talk about things like “diversity hiring” to justify resentment or jealousy.

I’m not mentioning these things for people to feel like they must walk on eggshells because look, we’ve all said things that came out in ways we didn’t truly mean. The entire “that’s what she said” genre of jokes is based on this.  Or even in some cases we said something we examined either immediately or later and realized we needed to check ourselves (because the truth is we are all influenced by white supremacy).

Instead, I’m talking about a pattern, recurring examples that point to a racist mindset or a white supremacist view of the world. Or simply that gut feeling, that knowing the intentions and real meaning of something said. Frequently, the person isn’t even conscious about it. Subconscious—yes, because that’s exactly what they are reacting to, a subconscious perspective. The one that’s a backseat driver that whispers how they should be the ones on top, they are the central protagonists and BIPOC might be a quirky bud but never competition or central to any story. BIPOC are side characters only there to serve the sun in which we should orbit. And when we violate this—well, there are repercussions, punishments for not staying in your place.

Sometimes these repercussions are similarly subtle… pushed out of social and/or professional circles, being passed over for a promotion and others that can be less subtle… being fired from a job, painted as a troublemaker, someone who stirs up drama or maybe even review bombing BIPOC debut writers who you share space with.

Situations like the recent scandal makes me wonder what else is under the surface, especially when BIPOC are successful. Are we fellow humans on the same journey, or minions who have stepped out of line?

It makes me want to ask, to even yell, “didn’t you know we can all be queens together?”